Book Review: "Wounded I Sing: The Song of Songs and the Incarnation of the Son of God"

A friend recently sent me a copy of Timothy J. Kelly's Wounded I Sing: The Song of Songs and the Incarnation of the Son of God (Os Justi Press, 2026), with the promise that it was right up my theological alley. I was not familiar with Kelly, but he had impressive credentials—professor of dogmatic theology at the International Theological Institute in Truman, Austria and a research fellow of Blackfriar Hall, Oxford. The book also had ringing endorsements from some of my favorite scholars and writers: Fr. John Saward, Scott Hahn, John Bergsma, and Stephen K. Ray. After finishing the book, I add a hearty "Amen!" This four-chapter book takes longer than expected to finish, because its profundity of thought and beauty of expression move you to turn from the text to prayer.

The first chapter was like a return to grad school: This God Who is incomprehensible in His essence, discloses Himself to us by way of analogy to His creation. We must constantly remind ourselves that "however pure the perfection the name might evoke, however immaterial and actual the perfection signified, He infinitely surpasses it and exceeds the constraints our intelligence inevitably associates with the term" (Wounded, 19). In Scripture He goes even further, inspiring its authors to express His love for man via the language of our material passions, our human condition. Such metaphorical use of language, however, finds its embodiment in the Incarnation of the Word. In Christ Jesus and the Church, the spousal relationship between God and Israel described by the prophets achieves an undreamt-of reality.

This leads into a fascinating chapter exploring Jewish and Christian interpretation of the Old Testament's Song of Songs. It is a text which never mentions God and, taken at face value, is a love song in which the affection between lovers is "manifested by way of the language of eros, of human desire" and "embodied, conjugal relations" (Wounded, 37). Even so, the ancient rabbis recognized it as speaking of God's election of Israel; and the first century historian Josephus recorded how it had to be read in its entirety during the Feast of Passover. Christians such as Origen and Gregory the Great interpreted it "in light of the arrival of the Messiah and of the spousal perfections exemplified in His Passion" (Wounded, 40). Kelly then guides us through the Christological interpretation of the Song among medieval writers such as Bernard of Clairvaux, Thomas Aquinas, and William of St. Thierry. (I appreciated Kelly's in-depth footnotes as well as Os Justi Press's wide margins where I could make notations.)

The second half of the book, its final two sections, are a wide-ranging discussion of Christ as the Bridegroom, who bodily manifests His love for the Church in His total gift of Self upon the Cross and in the Eucharist. We consider the full reality of Christ's humanity, His Sacred Heart, soteriology, divinization, created and Uncreated Love, the Blessed Mother, the Theology of the Body, etc. Kelly's insights into the Gospel of John and explication of Saints Thomas and John Chrysostom's Eucharistic teaching alone would have sold me on the book. Kelly employs the Song of Songs to expound upon the most central mysteries of our faith and life. It is profound—theology that moves you to contemplation.

Christopher West's "Eclipse of the Body"

I have read several of Christopher West's books, heard him speak, and even had the pleasure of interviewing him once upon a time. His new release couldn't be more timely: first, our already-sex-obsessed culture is sinking, faster every month, into a swamp of confusion and lust; and second, this year marks the 50th anniversary of Humanae Vitae's release. (These two subjects are not unrelated.)

West's Eclipse of the Body makes a powerful case that  it was Christianity's embrace of contraception that unleashed the present darkness. I loved that it was a quick read, chock-full of pithy, memorable formulations of the truth. He reminds us of the meaning, the purpose of gender, and traces, step-by-step, how the sterilization of the sexual act has led to the progressive breakdown of family and society. Don't believe me? Please, by all means, pick up a copy of the book and show me where West goes astray. (I've have to warn you, though, you will also find yourself arguing with Blessed Pope Paul VI and Pope St. John Paul II.)

Even more important than showing us where we went wrong, however, is West's ability to articulate the answer: the Gospel of Jesus Christ. West deftly explains John Paul II's Theology of the Body, the most thorough exposition (to date) of God's purpose for the human body. This new book is a gift to the Church. (Speaking of gifts - I already passed my copy on to my 17 year old.)

The link above will allow you to order the paperback directly from the Cor Project ($7.95, or buy in bulk, 40 or more/$3 each), but you can also grab it on Kindle for $3.95. I don't usually put prices in my reviews, but this is a steal.  Happy reading!

Book Review: "Chiara Corbella Petrillo: A Witness to Joy"

Unusual - that is the word that keeps coming to mind for this book. It may not sound like a compliment, but I assure you that it is. I knew that Michael Lichens, Sophia Institute Press's new editor, had worked hard to bring this Italian bestseller to English audiences; and I now understand why. Chiara Corbella Petrillo: A Witness to Joy is unlike any account of redemptive suffering and God's superabundant grace that I have encountered. Like me, you may have read brief online accounts of Chiara's life: Chiara carried her first two pregnancies to term, knowing that both of her children had developmental abnormalities that would allow them to live only a short time outside her womb. She then welcomed a third, healthy child into the world; but she heroically postponed cancer treatment to do so, and she succumbed to the disease a year later, in 2012. This book is the definitive telling of her story - written at the request of Chiara's husband, Enrico (who provides the Foreword), by the couple that the Lord allowed to intimately share his and Chiara's journey.

This book is unusual because, despite the presence of suffering, it is - from start to finish - a love story. It communicates the young romance that blossomed into a deep, ever-abiding love between Chiara and Enrico - two young Catholics who had put Christ at the center of their lives. Against the backdrop of Assisi and Rome it tells the on-again, off-again, nature of their courtship - the honest struggle Chiara and Enrico faced to move past their own baggage and fears to make a mature commitment to one another on the day of their marriage. This is a couple who took seriously John Paul II's Theology of the Body, with each spouse manifesting Christ's love for the other in their mutual surrender to each other and the absolute joy and love with which they welcomed each of their three children. This book is a story of Divine love - of Christ the Bridegroom's love and the unfathomable mystery of finding union with Him upon the marriage bed of the Cross.

The authors make no attempt to paper over Chiara and Enrico's pain, or seek to soften it with platitudes. They relate Chiara's darkest night and that fleeting moment, a year before her death, when the pain became so intense that she questioned how God could exist if he allowed her to suffer like that. And yet, even in that dark moment, she and Enrico experienced a Presence, a Love, that transcended the excruciating pain. Their story is not well-wishing but testimony - the lived experience of two of our contemporaries: 

"The cross cannot be avoided; because of this, Jesus made it his. Standing before the cross is truly difficult. But you make it much more difficult by refusing it, [because] then he will compel you to take it up" (p. 61). 

"I quit wishing to understand, otherwise I could go crazy. And I am better. Now I am at peace; now I take whatever comes. He knows what he is doing, and up to now He has never disappointed. Later I shall understand" (p.122). 

"Thinking of Jesus' phrase, 'my yoke is sweet and my burden is light,' [Enrico] asked, 'Chiara, is this yoke, this cross, really sweet, as Jesus said?' And Chiara, smiling and turning her glance from the tabernacle to her husband, said in a weak voice, 'Yes, Enrico, it is very sweet'" (p. 152). 

"We are born and we shall never die" (p. 147).

This book is unusual in the way it stays with you. I have found myself thinking about the way I show my love for the members of my family and striving to make it more visible. I have been thinking about the day of my own death and the difficulties that may precede it; and I pray to be focused on the Beloved more than my pain. I think about Jesus, and the way that He loves us fragile, little creatures. Chiara Corbella Petrillo: A Witness to Joy is an unusual little book, highlighting the enormously unusual life we Christians are invited to live in the midst of the world.

******************
My thanks to Charlotte J. Fasi for translating this work into English.

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It's the Difference Btw. Talking on the Phone and Making Love

I have been under the weather this weekend.  That being the case, I didn't want to take a chance of passing my illness to others by attending Mass. Instead, I prayed from the Liturgy of the Hours, read today's Scripture readings, talked to God, and meditated with the Rosary.  It was time spent with God, and that is obviously fantastic. I realized however, that it wasn't the same as being at Mass.  An analogy occurred to me.  I recognize that it is imperfect, but it captures how I have come to think of my worship outside vs. inside the Eucharist: It's the difference between a husband and wife speaking by phone vs. making love.

It suffers, I know.  If you're familiar with this blog, then you know the profound reality I ascribe to even the simplest of prayers.  Jesus pours Himself out to the Father through our hearts, minds, and voices!  And yet, when we take part in the Eucharist, our prayer and union with Christ is raised up to a different, a higher plane.

In the Eucharist, Jesus gives Himself to us not just in a spiritual manner, and He gives us not just His teaching, but His very Self - His whole Self.  In the Eucharist we take the God-Man into us - His Divinity, His human Soul, His Body and Blood.  We receive Him into ourselves, as a bride receives her husband.  It is a manifestation of the mystery written of by St. Paul:

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” [Genesis 2:24]. This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the Church. (Ephesians 5:31-32)

It is the most intimate we can be with Jesus, this side of eternity. I remember how emphatic Jesus was about our need to receive Him in the Eucharist:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat [“phogein” in Greek, the usual verb for “eat”] the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life within you; he who eats [“trogein” in Greek, meaning “to munch or gnaw”] my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.  For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him. Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me.” (John 6:53-56, NIV)

Throughout the Old Testament the Passover and Temple sacrifices had united God and His people in the life of the sacrificial victim. God’s people had to take that life into themselves through a covenant meal. The New Covenant reality to which they pointed - the most powerful way we unite ourselves to Jesus' sacrifice - is the Eucharist. 

Look at what the Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians:

Christ, our passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Let us, therefore, celebrate the festival. (1 Cor 5: 7-8) 

Consider the practice of Israel; are not those who eat the sacrifices partners in the altar? ... The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? (1 Cor 10:18,16) 

Whoever, therefore eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died." (1 Cor 11: 27-30)  

I know the early Church understood Jesus' words regarding the Eucharist just as literally as the Apostle Paul.  In 107 A.D., while awaiting martyrdom, Ignatius (Bishop of Antioch and disciple of the Apostle John) wrote:  

“I desire the Bread of God, which is the Flesh of Jesus Christ, Who was of the seed of David, and for drink, His Blood, which is love incorruptible.”(Epistle to Romans)

"Take note of those who hold heterodox [or heretical] opinions on the grace of Jesus Christ which comes to us, and see how contrary their opinions are to the mind of God ... They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer, because they do not confess that the Eucharist is the flesh of our Savior Jesus Christ, flesh which suffered for our sins and which the Father, in his goodness, raised up again. They who deny the gift of God are perishing in their disputes." (Epistle to the Smyrnaeans)

As hard as we might try, there's simply no way to rival or go beyond the Mass - it is Jesus and His Sacrifice made present upon the altar.  The Divine Bridegroom comes to make himself one flesh with His Bride ... and that's a union you just can't "phone in."

"When I Fast, I Fast. And When I Eat Pizza, I EAT PIZZA!"

Last night I woke up a little before 2 a.m., and decided to hit the fridge for a couple of pieces of the kids' left over pizza.  Like millions of others yesterday, I had joined Pope Francis in fasting and praying for peace throughout the world, and especially in Syria.  And I'll tell ya, after a good fast, Little Caesar's pizza had never tasted better!  As I sincerely thanked God for such delicious food, I recalled a story from Christopher West's At the Heart of the Gospel:

Teresa of Avila (one of the saints I most admire) was once caught by her sisters, in the middle of the night, scarfing down partridge.  Seeing the shocked looks on their faces their holy mother responded, "When I fast, I fast; and when I eat partridge, I eat partridge!"  It's a great lesson on why we Christians fast.  It isn't that food or our bodily appetites are "bad," or "sinful."  Rather, for a limited time, we seek the fulfillment of an even deeper hunger.  In yesterday's fast we expressed to God our hunger for peace in the world. 

I don't know how many of us practice fasting, except on Ash Wednesday or Good Friday.  I've hardly ever done it.  When I began researching the prayer life of Jesus a few years back, and His teaching on prayer, I recognized that I was called - that all of us are called - to unite fasting to our prayer for great needs.  It was Jesus' practice; and in God's providence, it is a prerequisite for His release of certain graces.  Kudos to Pope Francis for bringing it into our prayers for peace!

Just don't let anyone get the wrong impression that we Catholics frown upon the feast.  We love to feast!  We've just found that the food tastes that much better after a day of prayer and fasting! 

How Often Do You Make Love?

Warning - Mature Content (Spiritual and Otherwise)

The Kiss, Gustav Klimt

A very good friend of mine, a priest, shared a story with me several years ago:  A woman approached him after he had finished saying morning Mass.  He had been recently transferred to the parish and the parishioners were not used to the way his celebration of the Mass took slightly longer than pastor of the parish's and the previous associate pastor's that he replaced.  (Attending one of my friend's Masses is incredible - the preaching, the love with which he prays each word of the Eucharistic Prayer - it is beautiful.)  The woman said to him, "Father, that was a wonderful celebration of the Eucharist; thank you.  I wanted to tell you though that we are used to a quicker celebration on weekdays.  I have to be to work in a few minutes, and I am used to having more lead time."  My friend, perhaps the most gentle priest I know, glanced down at the ring on the woman's left hand, looked back up into her eyes and responded, "Madame, I would never presume to tell you how to make love to your husband; and you should not presume to tell me how to make love to my God!"  And that was the end of that.

My priest friend understood one of the truths that far too many Christians live their lives completely unaware of - the Church is the Bride of Christ.  The sexual union between spouses is an image, a foretaste, that God gives us of the even deeper union Jesus longs to effect between Himself and us, His Church.  And where does that happen?  The Eucharist.

Look at what Paul taught about the sacramentality of marriage:

Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  (Eph.5:28-33)

If that shocks you or sexual union somehow seems inappropriate when speaking of the spiritual life - get over it!  That's how we Catholics roll - from the writings of St. Paul, to the great mystics and Scriptural commentators of the Middle Ages, right on down to Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body!  All of creation speaks of God - but nothing like man and woman, and especially their spousal union.  It is a created image both of the Oneness, the Unity, between the Three Persons of the Trinity as well as between God and us. The Old Testament frequently likens God to Israel's Husband (Ezek.16:17-19 is a powerful example) and you must recall how John the Baptist referred to Jesus as the Bridegroom (Jn.3:29) - an image which Jesus went on to use for Himself in His parables. (This pervading sense that sex is somehow "dirty," and incompatible with holiness comes not from Catholicism but American culture's roots in Puritanism.  Remember, we Catholics are the ones with the huge families - and how do you think we get those!?)

In the Eucharist Jesus comes to us, His Bride, like the groom on his wedding night, "This is My Body." The Eucharist is His means for effecting a one flesh, spousal union with us:

Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.  For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink.  Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him.  Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. (Jn.6:53-57)

In the Eucharist Jesus enters our bodies and souls in a manner analogous to the way Father, Son, and Spirit compenetrate each other within the Trinity!  We hear Jesus petition the Father for unity among the members of His Church at the Last Supper, when after establishing the Eucharist, He prayed, "... that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me, and I am in You, that they also may be in Us" (Jn.17:21).

I was reminded of the profound unity the Eucharist gives us with Jesus when I visited a non-denominational church last weekend.  I had a wonderful time worshiping God in song, and listening to an associate pastor break open James 1:19-25.  It really was an excellent Liturgy of the Word.  And then ... and then ... we sang another song and dismissed.  We had built to a crescendo, the Word of God had been proclaimed, but then the Word did not become flesh (Jn.1:14), Jesus did not become "real food" and "real drink" for our bodies and souls (Jn.6:55).

What my non-denominational brothers and sisters have is real.  God is present to them and they hear Him speaking in His Word - as we do in the first half of the Mass.  It's simply that they do not realize how much more Jesus wants to give them, the deeper union He wants to give them with Himself in the Eucharist.  It is analogous to a bride who basks in the pleasure of kisses and caresses from her beloved, but never goes on to consummate their union - never knows the greater bliss of intercourse and the even deeper union it will effect between she and her groom.

But once we understand the reality of Jesus' presence in the Eucharist - that He is really, truly, substantially present and that He joins us to Himself, makes us part of His Self-offering to the Father - then it becomes the center of our spiritual lives.  Like the saints, we begin to enter into this union with the Lord more frequently; Sunday Mass is not enough.  Our personal prayer, our Bible study, singing, praying of the Rosary - all is important for deepening our relationship with the Lord; but they climax in Eucharistic worship.  Scripture records only two specific directives that Jesus gave the Apostles regarding how He wanted them to worship:

• "This then is how you should pray, 'Our Father, Who art in heaven ...'" (Mt.6:9)
• "This is My Body ... this is My Blood ... do this" (1 Cor.11:23-25)

And where do we find both?  The Mass - where we celebrate not only the Liturgy of the Word, but we experience its completion in the Liturgy of the Eucharist!  Even now we are given a participation in the life of heaven, "the marriage supper of the Lamb" that awaits us at the end of our journey (Revelation 19:7-10).

WHO is Leading a War on Women? (and Who is Fighting FOR Women?)

I had an amazing time praying the Rosary this morning.  I was thinking about Mary being pregnant with Jesus after having just posted my interview with Christopher West and reading one of the most insightful/convicting posts I've come across in ages, Denise Fath's What Went Wrong in the Presidential Election?   (It has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with becoming a passionate saint.)

West has me thinking about the awesome beauty of human sexuality and of women in particular.  Who is more Christ-like than a mother?  Throughout pregnancy she says to her child, "This is my body, given for you ... This is my blood."  She manifests Christ's redemptive love in her body, in her femininity.  Astounding!  And we can't forget how a woman becomes pregnant - a man who gives himself completely to her, through his body.  This is love, a love that images God's.  It's a love that can even be a Sacrament, a conduit of Divine Love, one for the other!  A man surrendering himself to his wife, and a wife surrendering herself to her husband, both of them accepting the other exactly as he and she is ... and the two of them cherishing and nurturing and guiding the child who comes from them to do the same - that's the awesome dignity of the family - of men and women.  How can we not find that beautiful, not desire it for everyone we love?

That's why I not only can't embrace contraception personally, but believe is it harmful to everyone who embraces it - most especially women.  I want to see women loved in their entirety, for who they are - as God made them.  I want to see a woman's fertility cherished for the indescribable gift it is and a woman never made to feel that there is something wrong with her - that she needs to be altered chemically.  (And she should never have to consider "improving" herself through cosmetic surgery either!)  Her fertility can't be thought of as something that "holds her back," it is her.  You love a woman for who she is; you don't divide her up into different aspects or parts!  But that's exactly what I see us doing.  Every one of us is looking for LOVE - for someone to accept us, totally and completely, and to give himself or herself to us in that same way. BUT then we adopt the mindsets and go forward with actions, that make this kind of true marital love next to impossible!

There is deep confusion throughout our culture, and Christians by and large have proved just as susceptible to it as everyone else.  We have mistook Sentimentality for Love.  Sentimentality is all about feeling - desire, warmth - whereas Love is powerful feeling joined to an absolute commitment.  Love knows desire and warmth, but it is able to endure distance and cold.  It is able to sacrifice, if that it is what is needed to meet the needs of the beloved.  Sentimentality will deny reality or seek to distort it when abnegation is called for, whereas Love recognizes sacrifice as something inherent to itself.

Sentimentality is when a man or woman says to the other, "I have to have you."  But Love is when each says, "I want to give myself to you."  

Sentimentality is at peace with a lie: "I'm in no position to build a life with you.  I have to finish my education and start a career before I could actually stand up before everyone we know and vow to love you until death ... but I want the pleasure of your body now.  I want the warm emotions that come from having you next to me ... lets pretend for tonight ..."  It's a lie!  It's selfishness wrapped up in pleasurable emotion.

And its compounded by another lie and even more selfishness when contraception enters the picture: "I need you, I have to have you right now ... but not all of you.  I don't want your fertility.  Right now we're not in a place for our love to become anything more than pleasurable sensations and emotions."  

Love acknowledges our physical attraction to the beloved but disciplines it for the sake of the beloved.  Not only is that living in reality - it's about the most romantic thing imaginable!  (Look at all of the thirty and forty-something ladies pining for Twilight's Edward Cullen!)  Chastity, abstinence before marriage - that's authentic love.

"But Shane, kids are going to 'do it'!  We have to protect them from the consequences.  Teens need to be given contraception."  Sure, if you want to continue the cycle I've been describing.  If the goal is to keep men from truly loving women, from being willing to forego the urge of the moment, then by all means please keep giving kids contraception.  But if we want to teach them that they are something more than an animal unable to control its urges, then we'll tell them what it actually means to love a woman!  Make the expectation known - extol the virtues of self-control and chastity.  

Yes, we will see pregnancies.  That is the natural end of the sexual act.  It's not an "accident;" everything happened exactly the way it was designed to!  And we cannot pretend these unborn children are accidents to be "cleaned up" through abortion.  No, these children are precious; and we must help their young parents assume their roles, their responsibilities.  That's what their bodies were saying "yes" to when they came together sexually.  Until our society comes to grips with that fact - that sex is the manifestation of a life-long commitment and that the creation of new life is an inherent part of it, we will continue to spiral out of control.  Women's fertility will be looked upon as a detriment instead of a gift.  There is a "War on Women," but it's being waged by those pushing contraception, sterilization, and abortion as "healthcare."  

The way out of this mess is for each of us to desire and work at becoming saints - and to begin expecting the Christians around us to do the same!  I'm not saying "condemn them when they fall;" but make known the standard of Love that we are expected to live up to, and then provide loving support on those occasions when someone does not live up to it.  But we have to stop pretending like real Love isn't possible, that fertility is something bad, that a child is ever a "mistake."  That's a lie.  It's being propagated by the powers that be, but like all great lies it has a demonic origin.  Who today is fighting for women?  Look at who is still standing up and speaking the truth ... the Catholic Church.  And the way this fight will be won is for each of us to embrace and joyfully live this vision of human persons and human sexuality, to celebrate each new life and all of the responsibility they call forth from us.  We have to live with the vision of the saints and recognize the beauty of humanity as it comes from the hand of God.  With that gleam in our eye (and love in our actions) others will be drawn and the culture changed.  

My interview with Christopher West

It has been over a decade since I first read Christopher West’s Good News About Sex and Marriage and then made it required reading for the RCIA program I coordinated.  I couldn’t help myself.  If there was one area in which people seemed most confused it was the Catholic vision of sexuality and I had not seen anyone unpack John Paul II’s Theology of the Body with the understanding and sincere joy of Christopher West.  West has of course authored a number of books since, with his newest Fill These Hearts: God, Sex, and the Universal Longing due out in January.  He is also about to embark on a 2013 national tour for Fill These Hearts unlike anything we’ve seen before – using the beauty of music, art, and the spoken word to unmask the human longing for God.  Christopher was kind enough to answer my questions about his new book and outreach as well as TOB in general.

Shane Kapler:  What do you say when someone completely unfamiliar with Theology of the Body asks you to explain it to them for the first time?  What are maybe the three or four main points that you want them to walk away remembering?

Christopher West:  Although JP II’s most famous catechesis is quite long and complex, its main idea is quite simple: Our bodies tell a story, the most beautiful story imaginable.  Our bodies, in fact, tell the divine story –that’s what makes them theological.  What is that story?  God himself is an eternal exchange of life-giving love and we are destined to share in that exchange as male and female.  The yearning for love and union that we all experience both in body and in soul is ultimately a cry of the heart for union with God and with all of creation.  And that’s what God wants to grant us – an eternal bliss of union with him, and with everyone and everything.  Scripture calls it the “Marriage of the Lamb.”  The call of man and woman to become “one flesh” tells the story of God’s desire to take on flesh and become one with us.  And that’s precisely why the devil is hell-bent on distorting our understanding of sexuality.  When he twists it out of shape, we can no longer read the story, and our understanding of Christianity is placed in great jeopardy.  At the heart of our faith is the Incarnation: God in the flesh.  So it’s critical to understand that the TOB is not just about sex and marriage.  It takes us to the heart of the Gospel itself.

Kapler:  I know that many of us parents would like to hear your advice on how to introduce our children to TOB.  How did you begin with your own children?  How did you gradually unfold this vision and when/how did you know it was appropriate to fully explain what is meant by the “marital embrace”?

West:  First, we must recognize what a critical responsibility we have as parents to pass on the glory of God’s plan for the body and sexuality to our children.  Silence is not an option.  When we say nothing, the culture fills the void with its terribly distorted message.  But we can’t give what we don’t have.  As parents, before we can pass the TOB on to our children, we have to immerse ourselves in it.

The Church teaches that education in God’s plan for sexuality must begin in the womb, and continue uninterrupted throughout all the ages and stages of development.  So, obviously, we’re talking about much more than just giving our kids “the talk” when they reach a certain age.  We’re talking about a way of living and of embracing life that is itself an education in the meaning of sexuality.  We’re also talking about engaging in an ongoing conversation about the meaning, purpose, and dignity of being created as male and female in the image of God.  One of the things my wife and I have done with our kids is put this ongoing education in the context of our nightly prayers.  Every day since they were born my kids have heard me thanking God for making Mom to be a woman and making me to be a man; for calling us to the sacrament of marriage; and for bringing each of them into the world through Mom and Dad’s love.  Then I ask God to help the boys grow into strong men and the girls to grow into strong women and I ask God to teach them how to give their bodies away in love as Jesus loves.  Then I pray for their future vocations.  Eventually, as they get older they start asking: “What does it mean that I came into the world through your love?”  That’s when we start taking the conversation to the next level – based on their age level and understanding – and it unfolds fairly naturally from there.

If we are presenting God’s plan in all its splendor and in age-appropriate ways, there is nothing to be ashamed of here.  There is nothing to be squeamish about or embarrassed about.  If we find ourselves clamming up and unable to talk about these beautiful truths with our children, that’s an indication, I think, that we ourselves are in need of some healing in this area of our lives.  Taking up a study of JP II’s TOB is a great place to start on that journey.

Kapler:  I would like to hear about the growth of your interior life.   You obviously have a deep appreciation of the Carmelites.   When and how were you introduced to their writings?   Who do you consider your great teachers?

West:  I first got turned on to Carmelite spirituality in the writings of John Paul II.  When JP II speaks of prayer as a journey toward “nuptial union” with the Lord, he speaks by name of Saints John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila.  That’s what encouraged me to start reading their works.  To be honest, I had already been speaking and writing about the TOB for several years before I really started pursuing a deeper interior life.  It’s one thing to be able to speak and write about the theological ideas in your head.  It’s another thing altogether to allow those theological truths to penetrate and transform your heart.  Life has a way of compelling you on that journey, but we often resist it because transformation demands purification and that’s painful – it means passing through fire, through trials and dark nights.  Not fun.  But oh so rewarding, and so necessary for our souls!  In 2004 I started seeing a priest for spiritual direction and I’ve been seeing him regularly ever since.  He’s immersed in the mystical tradition of the Church and has helped me tremendously in developing a deeper interior life.  I’d say that he and my wife – and, of course, John Paul II – have been my greatest teachers in that regard.

Kapler:  When I hear your name I immediately think of the Theology of the Body Institute.  When your book At the Heart of the Gospel was released, however, I discovered that you had launched a new apostolate called The Cor Project.  Readers would love to know more about it.  What are its goals?  Does it mean less time working with the TOB Institute?

West:  I co-founded the TOB Institute in 2004 with two other colleagues and was involved for several years in its administration as the Institute was solidifying its mission and programs.  We’ve attracted a top-notch faculty – including Janet Smith, Peter Kreeft, Bill Donaghy, John Haas, and Michael Waldstein – and students come from around the world to take the week-long intensive courses that are part of the TOB Institute’s Certification Program (www.tobinstitute.org).  I continue to teach about four of these intensive classes every year, but I’ve stepped away from the administrative side of things to pursue a new global initiative called The Cor Project.

“Cor,” of course, is Latin for heart.  At the heart of culture is the relationship of man and woman.  It’s an illusion to think we can renew culture unless we reach this “cor” with a healing, redemptive vision of life, love, and sexuality.  I’ve spent nearly 20 years spreading TOB in Catholic circles, and I’ll continue to serve in that way.  But The Cor Project is working with culture-shaping individuals and organizations around the world – artists, musicians, screenwriters, playwrights, Hollywood and Broadway producers, businessmen and women, experts and pioneers in online education – to take the message to a wider audience.  We feel urgently compelled by Christ’s call to “go into the main streets and invite everyone to the wedding feast.”

Kapler:  You and some of the Cor Project team just returned from Haiti.  What did you see the Lord doing among the Haitian people?

West:  We were invited to educate the priests, but we also had the chance to be among the poorest of the poor.  We spent some time with a lovely Irish missionary nun, Sr. Anne, who, as part of her rounds, took us to meet a paralyzed teenaged girl who lives in a small shack on the side of a mountain.  You would think this girl – who has nothing and lives a life of great suffering – would be tragically depressed, but she radiated joy.  Sr. Anne asked her why she was so joyful and the girl said, “I talk to Jesus all day long, and he talks to me.”  That was the most memorable experience of the trip.

Kapler:  In At the Heart of the Gospel you pointed out, and I would argue rightly so, that we cannot change the culture through a merely intellectual presentation of the Truth, nor one that starts simply by attacking error.  Instead we need to focus upon the beauty and power of the Truth as it comes to us, for example, in John Paul II’s TOB.  But what does that look like?  How should I respond when I am at work and my coworker begins talking about how bigoted it is to oppose same-sex “marriage”?

West:  Yes, where to begin?  I think it’s important to look for common ground before discussing differences.  For instance, everyone yearns for love.  Everyone feels that “ache” inside for fulfillment.  Start there.  Affirm it.  Catholic teaching is so often presented merely as a list of prohibitions rather than as a path by which to pursue the satisfaction of the deepest desires of our hearts.  In my experience, if people know that you are with them in affirming that deepest yearning of the human heart – if they know that you feel that yearning too and are a true seeker of answers to life’s deepest questions – then we can begin a civilized conversation about what fulfills that yearning and what doesn’t.  In other words, we need to love people right where they are and approach them not with an agenda to prove a point or win an argument, but with love, compassion, understanding, patience, and as a fellow seeker in the human quest for answers to life’s questions.

Kapler:  I understand you have a new book about to be released, Fill These Hearts.  What is the focus?

West:  Actually, it’s about precisely what we were just discussing – that “ache” inside that we all feel for fulfillment.  The subtitle is God, Sex, and the Universal Longing.  The Greeks called that longing “eros.”  Fill These Hearts explores the ancient but largely forgotten idea that the restless, erotic yearning we feel at the core of our being is actually our desire for God, for “the wedding feast” that Christ promises in the Gospels.  I try to show that true satisfaction of our hunger lies not in repressing eros, nor in indulging it lustfully, but in learning how to direct our desire according to God’s design so we can safely arrive at our eternal destiny: bliss and ecstasy in union with God and one another forever.  The Gospel in a nutshell is this: there is a banquet that corresponds to the hunger we all feel inside; there is a sweet wine that corresponds to the thirst we feel inside; there is a balm that corresponds to the “ache” in our hearts.  Life, yearning, suffering, love, our cry for intimacy and union – all begin to make sense when the Church’s teaching is properly framed and presented as the beautiful invitation that it is.

Kapler:  Fill These Hearts is more than a book, it’s also a live event.  Would you tell us about that?

West:  Sure.  I’ve been in dialogue with a team of creative thinkers and artists for several years now, all of the “JP II generation.”  Each of us has been impacted by art and music as much as by our study of theology.  We were especially inspired by JP II’s Letter to Artists in which he insists that the Gospel cannot be presented in all of its splendor without the help of art.  With that as our inspiration, The Cor Project has been developing an artistic event that integrates my presentations with the live music of indie folk-rock group Mike Mangione and the Union (www.mikemangione.com) along with other artistic elements like movie clips, classical and contemporary paintings and icons and thematic imagery projected on large screens.

Kapler:  So this is quite different from the church seminars you’ve done in the past?

West:  It’s much more like a night at the theater, a kind of living, moving performance.  The art, the music, and the spoken presentation are all woven together to create a cohesive whole.  I’ve always tried to keep my presentations lively, but you can only go so far with the spoken word.  Art is the language of the heart.  A song, a melody, a movie clip, a beautiful painting projected on the big screen takes the message to an entirely new level.  And the highlight of the evening for almost everyone is the sand-painting.  If you’ve never seen this form of art before, you won’t want to miss it.  It pierces the heart and communicates the message at a much more profound level than a mere lecture ever could.

Kapler:  Who is your target audience for this event and where can people learn more?

West: We want this event to be something that Catholics can invite their fallen-away or even un-churched friends and family to.  This is one of the reasons we typically hold these events in theaters rather than churches.  It is certainly intended to enrich the faith of those who are already active in the Church, but we also want to reach out to those who might not be inclined to attend a “church event.”  We have one more event in 2012, in Sylvania, Ohio, on Nov 17.  Then we’ll be launching a national tour in 2013 in tandem with the release of the book.  If you’d like to attend or inquire about bringing one of these events to your area, you can learn more at www.fillthesehearts.org.