Do I Really Believe This?

Meditating upon the gospel account of Jesus' healing the paralytic who was lowered down to him through the roof, I was struck by the priority that Jesus placed on forgiving the man's sins. The man's separation from God was the focus of Jesus' healing; that was the illness that had to be overcome, because the man's eternal destiny, the totality of his life hung in the balance. The subsequent healing of his legs was an outward sign of what had occurred in the man's soul, a message to those who doubted Jesus' ability to grant divine forgiveness ("But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority to forgive sins on earth" - he said to the paralytic, "I say to you, rise, pick up your mat, and go home" [Mk 2:10-11].)

The question now becomes, "Do I really believe this?" Have I grown numb, do I take for granted the miracle of my sins being forgiving? Do I truly believe that the forgiveness of my sins - my soul's union with God - is greater than paralyzed limbs being healed? Does union with God outweigh relief from any worldly suffering or difficulty? Because if we truly believe that it does, our lives will be completely changed. We will become free of fear...fear of anything but separating ourselves from God. We can obtain a peace that no one and no situation can take from us, because we will be grounded in the deepest Reality. Lord, increase our faith; your words are life.

Someone Broke Into Our Car

When the kids and I went out to the car this morning, we quickly realized that someone had been in it overnight.  (I forgot to lock it.)  I usually leave my wallet and cell phone in the compartment between the driver and passenger seats; but I had brought in the cell phone for an early morning call, and I had my wallet in my pocket when I came in from the store last night. Fortunately, I hadn't loaded my work laptop into the trunk either (here's to putting things off until morning!).

The thief had to be pretty bummed when all he could find to take was a small bag of change.

I have lived in my house for five years and never experienced something like this before. What really made me chuckle was the timing of the theft: Just an hour before going out to the car, I had been talking to Matt Swaim on EWTN's Son Rise Morning Show, and one of the things we discussed was Jesus' prayer, "Father, forgive them." Matt and I talked about the way Jesus taught us to pray the same way in the Our Father, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." You have to love it when the Lord gives you a chance to walk the talk. Had I not just spoken with Matt, my heart may have been in a different state.  Thanks to the preparation, however, the kids and I launched straight into our morning prayer:

"Lord, we ask you to forgive, to pardon, the person who was in our car last night.  Please make him truly sorry for what he did and cause him to turn to you, ask for forgiveness, and never do this again.  If he or his family needed that bit of change to buy some food, we ask that they receive what they need.  And Lord, we thank you that you made sure we brought everything of value into the house last night. You take such incredible care of us, Lord. I will stop leaving my phone and wallet in the car overnight, and I'll be sure to double-check that it is locked.  Thank you, Lord.  Our Father..."

I recognize that I didn't have much to forgive. It was a small lesson ... but even small lessons have their purpose. My mind went to words I reread last night in preparation for my talk with Matt:

"I know what you are thinking: when you imagine yourself on his cross, praying 'Father, forgive them' seems impossible. But baptism makes it possible! It unites my soul to his. I could never pray those words on my own, apart from the action of the Holy Spirit. But through the Spirit, through the action of grace upon my soul, Jesus can pray those words in me; and they can become mine! Each time I pray the Our Father and cooperate with his grace to forgive people their small wrongs against me, my soul grows toward forgiving those who would take my life." (Through, With, and In Him, p.76)

 

Thank the Lord for baby steps.

 

Judas' Greatest Sin Was NOT His Betrayal of Christ

Love receiving emails from Daily Gospel.  I have to share the commentary it paired with the reading from Matthew, focusing on Judas' betrayal.  St. Catherine of Siena (1347-1380 A.D.) recorded these words in her Dialogue, words she believed were spoken to her by God the Father:

Saint Catherine heard God say to her: This is the sin that is never forgiven, now or ever: the refusal, the scorning of my mercy. For this offends me more than all the other sins they have committed. So the despair of Judas displeased me more and was a greater insult to my Son than his betrayal had been. Therefore, such as these are reproved for this false judgment of considering their sin to be greater than my mercy... They are reproved also for their injustice in grieving more for their own plight than for having offended me. 

They are being unjust in this because they are not giving me what is mine, nor taking for themselves what belongs to them. It is their duty to offer love and bitter heartfelt contrition in my presence for the sins they have committed against me. But they have done the opposite. They have lavished such tender love on themselves and felt so sorry about the punishment they expect for their sins! So you see how unjust they are. They will be punished, therefore, on both accounts. They have scorned my mercy, so I turn them over to my justice.

Powerful words to keep in mind as we begin the Novena to Divine Mercy on Good Friday!

I remember hearing Archbishop Fulton Sheen contrast the actions of Judas and Peter.  Both betrayed the Lord.  Both wept for their sins.  But where Peter opened himself to God to receive mercy and forgiveness, Judas turned inward on himself and took his life in despair.  The great tragedy is that, had Judas turned to God as Peter did, we would know him as Saint Judas.