Do I Really Believe This?

Meditating upon the gospel account of Jesus' healing the paralytic who was lowered down to him through the roof, I was struck by the priority that Jesus placed on forgiving the man's sins. The man's separation from God was the focus of Jesus' healing; that was the illness that had to be overcome, because the man's eternal destiny, the totality of his life hung in the balance. The subsequent healing of his legs was an outward sign of what had occurred in the man's soul, a message to those who doubted Jesus' ability to grant divine forgiveness ("But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority to forgive sins on earth" - he said to the paralytic, "I say to you, rise, pick up your mat, and go home" [Mk 2:10-11].)

The question now becomes, "Do I really believe this?" Have I grown numb, do I take for granted the miracle of my sins being forgiving? Do I truly believe that the forgiveness of my sins - my soul's union with God - is greater than paralyzed limbs being healed? Does union with God outweigh relief from any worldly suffering or difficulty? Because if we truly believe that it does, our lives will be completely changed. We will become free of fear...fear of anything but separating ourselves from God. We can obtain a peace that no one and no situation can take from us, because we will be grounded in the deepest Reality. Lord, increase our faith; your words are life.

"Jesus spit on the ground ... "

Back in August, I shared how my eleven year-old son helped me get back into the practice of reading Scripture each night before I went to bed.  A couple of thoughts occurred to me last night as I read an acount of one of Jesus' miracles in the Gospel of John:  

[Jesus said,] "While I am in the world, I am the light of the world." Having said this, Jesus spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man [who was blind from birth]'s eyes. "Go," he told him, "wash in the Pool of Siloam" (this word means Sent). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing." (Jn.9:5-7)

 It is an amazing miracle - but what's with the saliva, right? Last night my mind traveled back to the Bible's earliest chapters:  "the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being" (Gen.2:7).  When Jesus healed the man born blind, it was as if He was perfecting what had been askew in the in utero development of this man's ability to see.  In this simple action of combining His saliva - the saliva of the God-Man - with the dust of the ground, the Lord was recalling the Creation Story.  And then He took it to the next level.

By sending the man to wash in the Pool of Siloam, Jesus gave us a sign of Baptism that raises us above natural life, to supernatural!  The waters of Baptism restore us to the dignity of Children of God - the gift given to, but lost, by our first parents.  They impart the supernatural life of the God-Man to our own souls and begin the process that will ultimately lead to the healing of all of our bodily ills as well, in the Resurrection!  Jesus' saliva mixed with the dust, the waters of Siloam - it all speaks of how God uses the things of this world to impart not just natural, but supernatural life!  It's the sacramental principle.

Jesus said, "What do you want Me to do for you?"

So they called the blind man, saying to him, "Take courage; get up, he is calling you." He threw aside his cloak, sprang up, and came to Jesus.  Jesus said to him in reply, "What do you want me to do for you?" The blind man replied to him, "Master, I want to see." Jesus told him, "Go your way; your faith has saved you." Immediately he received his sight and followed him on the way. (Mark 10:49-52)

My pastor put the question to us, "What do you want Jesus to do for you?  He's asking, and in a few minutes He is going to come in Communion to give it to you."  Our pastor asked the Lord for a good memory.  He shared that when he forgets things - like his mom's birthday - he gets in trouble.  When he forgets how blessed his life has been, how good God has been to him, it's then that life's challenges start to cause him anxiety.  He wants a good memory to look back on all the ways God has blessed and protected him in the past, so that he can face the present moment with peace.

I thought it would take some serious reflection to know what to ask Jesus for, but it didn't.  Before Mass I had been talking to Jesus about my weaknesses and the petition that jumped to mind - well, more like a series of petitions, one building upon the other - was "Lord, I want to see myself and the world with Your eyes.  I want to have Your will so that I can commit myself to doing what is good.  I want Your heart to truly love the people in my life the way You want.  I can't do it on my own.  I want You to live in me."  And when I received Jesus in Communion I invited Him to do just that, to give me His strength go home and do the work I needed to do, the way He wanted me to.  (It was a "laundry list" kind of day.)

So friends, what about you?  Jesus is asking, "What do you want me to do for you?"  What do you really need?

"Who Touched Me?"

Today's Gospel reading (Mark 5:21-43) was a really good reminder for me about how I live my life with God.  A woman afflicted with "hemorrhages" for 12 years (possibly what we today call endometrioisis) came up behind Jesus, convinced that if she could just touch the tassels on his garment (tzitzit, Num.15:38-39) she would be healed.  I was very struck by what came next:

Jesus, aware at once that power had gone out from him, turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who has touched my clothes?"
But his disciples said to him, "You see how the crowd is pressing upon you, and yet you ask, 'Who touched me?'"
And he looked around to see who had done it.
The woman, realizing what had happened to her, approached in fear and trembling. She fell down before Jesus and told him the whole truth.
He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has saved you. Go in peace and be cured of your affliction."

There were a crowd of people in physical contact with Jesus, but only one person really "touched" him; and it was her faith that allowed her to.

It reminded me that there is a danger I need to be wary of, a fine line that always needs to be walked.  It's important to have fixed times of prayer throughout the day.  It's also important to be faithful to specific forms of prayer; for me that's Sunday Mass and the daily Rosary.  I do a lot of spontaneous prayer in addition to those, but those are the meat and potatoes of my spiritual life.  The daily Rosary ensures that I make time to meditate on Jesus' life in Scripture; I have a set time every day for God to speak to me through His Word.  Sometimes I receive incredible flashes of insight, but much of the time it is just thinking on the mysteries and trying not to get distracted.

So there is that, and it is good.  But I need to be careful that I do not let prayer become routine.  That doesn't mean that I break my commitment to the Rosary - or even worse Sunday Mass - but that I strive to always remain cognizant that I am in contact with the Living God!  It's faith in a Person - trusting in, clinging to, and relying on God in absolutely everything I think, say, and do - that allows me to "touch" Jesus, to receive the grace He wants to pour out.

That's GROSS Lord!

Today's gospel reading and Jesus manner of healing this hearing impaired man always catches my attention:

He took him off by himself away from the crowd. He put his finger into the man's ears and, spitting, touched his tongue; then he looked up to heaven and groaned, and said to him, "Ephphatha!" (that is, "Be opened!") And (immediately) the man's ears were opened, his speech impediment was removed, and he spoke plainly.

I gotta tell ya, as a speech-language therapist who has worked with the hearing impaired, if I caught wind of any of my colleagues doing this, I'd feel duty bound to contact the state licensing board. Combine that with the fact that I've always been a bit of a germ-freak, and you can understand my discomfort.
God didn't ask my opinion on the matter though (and frankly, I have no indication that He is going to start), but He's been in my life long enough for me to realize that's best. The way Jesus lived His life is a corrective to my own. God's not freaked out by things like saliva and ear wax - even if they contain bacteria. Jesus, literally, wasn't afraid to get His hands dirty. Unlike me, He didn't think of it as "dirty," or uncomfortable, or a bother. (I know there are a lot of moms and dads out there who can relate to this.) He takes hold of us human beings, with our imperfect and unsanitized bodies, just as we are. And He loves us - absolutely and unconditionally. And He touches us to communicate health - to our hearts and minds, and one day, ultimately, to our bodies as well.