Earnest Desire

Have you ever truly longed for, pined for, something or someone?  There's an ache in your heart until your desire it met.  Knowing that feeling, I am always taken aback by Jesus' words at the Last Supper, "I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover meal with you before I suffer" (Lk.22:15).  Jesus desired that meal, earnestly desired that moment when He would give Himself to the Apostles in the Eucharist, even though it coincided with His death.

Do I earnestly desire to eat that Supper, to receive Jesus in the Eucharist?  No.  I don't respond with anywhere near the intensity with which Jesus comes to the Supper; and that came home to me recently.  It's not easy for me to share this, but if it can be of encouragement to anyone else out there; it's well worth it.   

A couple of weeks back I needed to go to Confession.  I had planned to go on Saturday afternoon but chickened out at the last minute.  That's right, after 25 years of going to Confession - and confessing things much more serious than I now had on my plate - I still chickened out!  I didn't feel right going to Communion the next morning, so I remained in my pew.  

What moved me to confess my sins the following Saturday was meditating on Jesus' institution of the Eucharist.  If the Lord's desire to share His Passover with us outweighed the horror of death, then my desire to share His Passover meal had to outweigh my fear of owning up to my sins! I was ashamed.  I asked for the grace to make a good confession, and I received it . . . and then I received Him in the Eucharist.

Bottom line:  If you are staying away from the Eucharist because you have some sin that you're afraid of owning up to, please let it go.  Look to the example of Jesus.  Do what you need to do, and then celebrate this Holy Meal and the union it gives you with Jesus. He prized it more than life.